Employee Appreciation Fund

Zach Pennefold: Meeting at Cracker Barrel this morning
Burnside McDonnough: sweet
Zach Pennefold: it was awesome. I'm sick now, of course,
Burnside McDonnough: of course, but still, your company does cool things
Zach Pennefold: from time to time. My boss paid for it,which is rare.
Burnside McDonnough: probably gettin reimbursed
Zach Pennefold: yeah, he is. But it's rare anyway
Burnside McDonnough: i would think there is some sort of morale fund
Burnside McDonnough: at one company i worked for, those things were included...which pissed me off cause my boss always made it sound like she picked up the tab
Burnside McDonnough: employee appreciation fund i think it was called
Burnside McDonnough: $40 per employee for the year
Zach Pennefold: see, that's cool
Burnside McDonnough: she was always cheap with it
Burnside McDonnough: cause she wanted to be a good employee and keep the expenses low
Zach Pennefold: right. and witholding $40 a year is going to do that
Burnside McDonnough: she would spend too, for herself when traveling
Burnside McDonnough: but fuck if she didn't pour over our expense reports and question us on why we spent so much for dinner
Burnside McDonnough: the first time i traveled with her
Burnside McDonnough: we went to some streakhouse
Burnside McDonnough: $160 before tip for the two of us
Burnside McDonnough: it was weird
Burnside McDonnough: like some kinda date
Burnside McDonnough: and she acted all surprised
Burnside McDonnough: the fuckin martini(s) she was drinking was $11 per
Burnside McDonnough: i at least picked a nice red by the glass for $8
Burnside McDonnough: anyway, she did it again, the very next night
Burnside McDonnough: in the hotel restaruant
Burnside McDonnough: in the RITZ CARLTON
Burnside McDonnough: we stayed there cause we got like half off
Burnside McDonnough: that was, btw, one of the best meals ever
Burnside McDonnough: i forgot the name, but it was a phenomenal shiraz
Burnside McDonnough: with a bone in ribeye au poire
Burnside McDonnough: and this mashed potato creation, which inlcluded sour cream somehow injected
Burnside McDonnough: oh man
Burnside McDonnough: and the creamed spinach au gratin
Burnside McDonnough: oh man
Burnside McDonnough: OH MAN
Burnside McDonnough: i am hungry
Zach Pennefold: you're dying, aren't you
Burnside McDonnough: yes
Zach Pennefold: you can taste it again
Burnside McDonnough: mouth watering
Burnside McDonnough: YES
Burnside McDonnough: I CAN
Burnside McDonnough: the ribeye just melted
Burnside McDonnough: i mean, i cut it with my FORK
Burnside McDonnough: for desert
Burnside McDonnough: a very nice seasonal berries over HOMEMADE vanilla ice cream and topped with grand marnier
Burnside McDonnough: accompanied by a cappucino with a snicker of bailey's added
Burnside McDonnough: i love that desert, several restaurants do it
Burnside McDonnough: for starter was an onion soup
Burnside McDonnough: with a wedge of cheese
Zach Pennefold: Are you masturbating?
Zach Pennefold: because that would be weird

4 things to do before you move

Burnside McDonnough: i have applied for some position at Google
Burnside McDonnough: there online application has some interesting questions
Zach Pennefold: like how to spell "their"?
Burnside McDonnough: fuck you
Zach Pennefold: What kind of questions?
Burnside McDonnough: have you set/broken an records...local, state, global
Zach Pennefold: wow. have you broken any records? that's odd
Burnside McDonnough: i thought so
Burnside McDonnough: formed any social or recreational groups?
Burnside McDonnough: established a side, non-tech job that turned a profit
Burnside McDonnough: you should go apply to something, just for the hell of it and
to get your resume in there
Zach Pennefold: damn. I probably should
Zach Pennefold: but then what if they call?
Burnside McDonnough: go with it
Zach Pennefold: "Oh. It was a lark. Sorry for your trouble"
Burnside McDonnough: if they offered you a gig you wanted
Burnside McDonnough: with good pay
Burnside McDonnough: and moved you
Burnside McDonnough: you wouldn't go work for google
Burnside McDonnough: GOOGLE!?!?!?
Zach Pennefold: my wife won't leave
Zach Pennefold: so they would have to pay me enough to keep two mortgages
Burnside McDonnough: how does it feel to realize you are to remain and live in
the same town till she or you die
Zach Pennefold: it feels fine. I like it here
Burnside McDonnough: but still, like some form of jail
Burnside McDonnough: like, the option is not there to leave
Zach Pennefold: OH! if her friends die, she'd probably be willing to move
Burnside McDonnough: there you go
Zach Pennefold: Moving checklist:
Zach Pennefold: 1) Buy boxes
2) Kill wife's friends
3) Wait through grieving period / provide comfort
4) Place deposit on moving truck